The Pirate Review - - The Manila Tombstone

Carpe diem, kids

On July 20, 1999, the Associated Press ran a long memorial piece on John F. Kennedy, Jr., who died that year in a plane crash along with his wife and sister-in-law. The AP mourned his passing in style, noting that JFK Jr. had lived his whole life in the public eye—first as the small son of an assassinated president, later as a handsome single member of the most high-profile political family in the United States. He was only 38 at the time of his death.

I'm no member of the Kennedy fan club, but I've singled out JFK Jr.'s memorial piece for a very specific reason. When I first read this obituary, what stood out the most to me was this one sentence: "There is a sense of potential unfulfilled, a question of what might have been—personally and politically—if his life had not tragically ended."

That sentence contains what might well be the most pathetic phrase in the English language: potential unfulfilled. Here was a person who literally had all the ingredients for a successful life—money, good looks, intelligence, health, love, powerful family connections—yet his life is most notable for what he failed to do with it.

Which brings us to the concept of the Manila Tombstone.

I write. It's almost like saying, "I breathe;" I do it constantly and compulsively. Long before I could form letters, I was making up stories. Maybe it's something congenital, or maybe they start you young, hooking you on the magical rush of words to ensure you become a junkie for life. I don't really know, and for my purposes it doesn't really matter, since I have no intention to live without writing. Yet with the exception of some online forums and a brief stint in a student news rag, I've never had my work published.

Why? Is it because I don't have talent? I used to think so, but I'm not so sure of that any more. Total strangers have read—and enjoyed—my writing, enough that they took the time to send me feedback. Is it because I ramble? Possibly, but a good editor can rein that in. Is it because I'm afraid of failure? A little. Writing can be uncomfortably like exposing your soul, but I have submitted short stories, essays, and one book proposal to publishing houses. They've all been rejected; I'm still alive.

These days I am convinced the primary reason why I remain unpublished is my own laziness.

I take forever to get things done. My mom jokes that I have two speeds—Slow and Reverse. When I do try to write creatively, it's in fits and starts. I'll get an idea for a story, write a little on it, then get scared at the amount of time I think it'll take to finish, or start looking at it with a poisonously self-critical eye. It ends up getting shuffled into a manila folder. I now have five such manila folders, filled with bits and pieces of stories half-begun and aborted, going as far back as fifth grade. I've taken to calling them the Manila Tombstones, because my stories go there to die.

There are a number of reasons why I'd like to start a site based on resurrecting material from the Manila Tombstone. Like every American, I was shaken up after the events of 9/11/01, reminded again that life is precious and often cut short without warning. I've spent a lot of time lately thinking about my father, who died in a car accident at the age of 39; his art never made him famous, but the way he lived his life forever changed his family and his children. Today (November 4, 2001) is my 32nd birthday. My time here is passing, whether or not I choose to do anything with it.

Well, I've decided "potential unfulfilled" is a phrase I don't really want in my obituary. I have to stand up with Thoreau, "and not, when I come to die, discover that I had not lived." Somehow I will have to find the strength inside myself not to be lazy or afraid to fail. Or maybe having a site like this might help other writers gain the strength and support they need to take the plunge and try to get published.

The Pirate Review now has a logo of sorts: the skull and swords with the site's acronym in red below. I picked the skull and swords specifically because they are associated with "Calico Jack" Rackham, one of the most notorious of Caribbean pirates in his day, whose indolence proved fatal. Jack was captain of the Vanity, but he was far too partial to gaming and rum. One night, as Jack and the rest of the crew slept off a drunken stupor below decks, the Vanity was attacked by a ship of the British Navy. Female pirates Anne Bonny and Mary Read attempted to defend the ship single-handedly, all the while trying to rouse the men below, but they never stirred until the ship was overtaken. Jack was captured and later hanged at Port Royal for his crimes. At the time of his sentencing, it was said that Anne, his lover, had only this cold comfort for him: "I am sorry to see you there, but if you had fought like a man, you need not be hanged like a dog."

If you have suggestions, I'd be pleased to hear them. and tell me what you think.