Look, Ma, baseboard heat! Now I can be both freezing AND broke!
In most of North America, the temperature drops below 40 degrees Fahrenheit several times a year, forcing humans to seek out warmth. (Of course, in parts of Canada 40 degrees Fahrenheit officially qualifies as a heat wave, but that's another story.) Everywhere you go, there are methods of indoor heating which range from the basic to the esoteric. Certain types of heating technology are more popular in specific regional areas—on the East Coast, heating oil is more common; in the West, natural gas is popular; you'll also find fireplaces, old-fashioned wood stoves and new-fashioned pellet stoves, even feed corn stoves, to keep things toasty.
In some parts of the country, including my haunt in the Pacific Northwest, electric baseboard heating is inexplicably popular. And I still cannot understand why.
Let me explain.
Overview
Electric baseboard heaters are so named because they are a) designed to heat the room, b) run by electricity and c) located next to the baseboard—the area where the floor meets the wall. Most baseboard heaters are composed of a long electric heating element enclosed within a metal casing for safety, usually installed under a window and beside an outer wall to encourage convection. When the unit is turned on, an electric current runs through the element, generating heat, which then moves into the room through air currents generated by the window placement—in other words, the room gets heated by osmosis.
At least, that's how it's supposed to work.
Theory vs. practice
In all the baseboard-heated houses and apartments I've been forced to experience, here's what really happens:
- Freezing inhabitant, used to the instant, comforting warmth of forced-air heat, turns the thermostat to 70 degrees.
- Baseboard heater element kicks on.
- Element generates heat, which is slowly drawn upward to the window under which it was installed.
- Heat turns and escapes out the window.
- Freezing inhabitant continues to freeze—but now she enjoys the inner warmth of philanthropy as she heats her entire neighborhood.
Not to put too fine a point on it, convection heating bites. It's ineffective, inefficient and horrendously expensive. The first month we spent in our baseboard-heated apartment, we kept the heat on all the time—and our electric bill at the end of the month was nearly three times what we were used to paying with forced-air heat.
The felicity of humidity
You may have heard that the Pacific Northwest has a reputation for, shall we say, copious amounts of "liquid sunshine." It's all true—most of the year is not only cold, but wet. Except in summertime, the air is saturated inside and out with little water droplets—and let me tell you, the cold seeps into your very bones.
The best way to fight cold humidity is with forced-air heating. Warm air, expelled from vents in the floor and ceiling, circulates the air in the room and helps to keep things dry and comfortable. (A room that's 68 degrees and dry is a lot more comfortable than a room that's 68 degrees and humid.)
How does baseboard heat fare against Northwest humidity? Not a chance. It's like the neighborhood bully going up against Mike Tyson. Humidity will bash the tar out of your baseboard heater, bite off the element's ear and do a victory dance over its broken, humiliated casing. If you want heat, you'd be better off digging a fire pit in the middle of your living room.
Design by default
The floor registers of forced-air heat can occasionally be a nuisance—you may have to shuffle a sofa or dresser around to keep them open—but they're a cakewalk compared to the maddening design inconvenience of baseboard heat. Want to put a nice desk under the window? Whoops, too bad, there's a baseboard heater in the way. Got the perfect place for your chest of drawers? Think again; it's too close to the heating element. Don't let those drapes hang anywhere near the casing, just in case they spontaneously combust—oh, and for heaven's sake, don't have kids. It's only a matter of time before they figure out how to remove the case and burn their hands, or stick a metal utensil into a hole and get electrocuted.
Cold = Mold
Don't ask me why, but there seems to be a direct correlation between baseboard heating and cheap landlords. When we moved to Washington, our first rented house featured baseboard heat; other features included drafty single-pane windows with molding frames, a leaking roof and no insulation to speak of. (There's a reason why the rent was laughably cheap.)
We learned the hard way not to place anything—chairs, bookshelves, mattresses—too close to the walls. The non-insulated outer walls, wimpy convection "heat," natural humidity, and shadows created by the furniture combined to create a near-perfect breeding ground for mold, which not only damaged the paint but spread quickly from the walls to our belongings. I spent a lot of time cleaning the walls, bookshelf and mattress with bleach solution that first year.
I'm pleased to report, however, that we have learned from our mistakes. When we moved, it was into a rental with forced-air gas heat. This is now the one rental feature no longer open to discussion—if a prospective house has electric baseboard heat, no matter how convenient the location or how nice the neighborhood, we keep moving.
What to do, what to do...
GET FORCED-AIR HEAT, you ninny! It's safer, more efficient and economical.
If you're stuck in a place with baseboard heat, there are a few tricks you could try. Point a small fan at the heating element to encourage convection, so the heated air will circulate quicker and heat the room faster. Keep your windows and doors as airtight as possible. Pile on the blankets, and don't neglect that extra sweater. If you have a supplementary heat source such as a fireplace, kerosene heater or wood stove, by all means USE IT.
But your best investment purchase of all is a Sunday newspaper. Scan the classifieds for rental properties, paying special attention to the words "gas heat," and get the heck outta Dodge as soon as possible. Your poor frozen buns will thank you for it.