The Pirate Review - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

We waited three years for filler and a raging brat?

SPOILER WARNINGS

Shame on you, Joanne Rowling.

First you make Harry Potter fans wait three years between the last installment, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and the latest massive tome. Then you deliberately create such a hush-hush atmosphere about the new book that people are literally slavering at the thought of purchase. Your publicity people create a huge roll-out campaign designed to market hard to primary-age fans of the boy wizard.

And then, after all that, you have the gall to release this monstrous, wholly unnecessary block of a book that starts to disappoint the reader from about Chapter 3 onward and never really lets up from there.

If work of this quality had been released by an unknown author, I might—MIGHT, mind you—give that author the benefit of the doubt and award the book three stars. But I've read your other work, and I know you can do better. You've demonstrated good storytelling talent in the first three books of this series. Even Goblet of Fire, which could have improved tremendously with some judicious editing, still had much of the Potter magic. But this book is primarily plodding, useless filler with occasional useful tidbits of information, too few and too far between to justify the book's ponderous 870-page length.

I can almost imagine you sitting down at the typewriter/word processor/whatever and thinking to yourself, "Well, I promised them seven books. Let's see, I let a few important bits of information slip in Book 4, but if I give them that much in Book 5, I'll run out of steam before Books 6 and 7. Maybe Harry can just tread water this year, and I'll give them a few tidbits to chew on. A new Dark Arts teacher, easily gotten rid of... oh, and let's make Harry insufferable, yelling and put-upon at the slightest provocation... maybe throw in a few more cuss words for the teenage fans... ah, it's like printing my own money!"

There's SO much filler in this book, in point of fact, that I can probably summarize all the important stuff in the following paragraph (MAJOR SPOILERS, people—drag mouse over text to view):

The wall between Harry's life among the Muggles and his life in the wizarding world has been breached. Aunt Petunia knows more about the wizarding world than she has previously let on. Harry now has a strong psychological link to Voldemort, presumably because the Dark Lord used some of Harry's blood in his resurrection, and Harry can therefore feel when Voldemort is happy, angry, etc. This connection also appears to have given Harry a raging case of male PMS. Foreshadowing indicates Harry will eventually become a professor at Hogwarts, probably in the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. Hagrid returns. Sirius Black dies at the hands of a Death Eater. Dumbledore reveals a prophecy about a child who will have the power to defeat the Dark Lord, and that this prophecy indicates either Harry or Neville Longbottom is that child.

(end spoilers)

Did you really believe that, after three years of waiting, this was all Harry's fans deserved to get? Shame again.

So if I can summarize the important bits of the book so quickly, what takes up the rest of it? Styrofoam packing material, my friends. There's some needless sub-plotting about the Ministry of Magic being in complete denial over Voldemort's return, the Daily Prophet painting Harry as a publicity-seeking loony, a relationship between Harry and Cho Chang which eventually peters out, some red-herring foreshadowing that tries to keep readers guessing about who's going to die, O.W.L. exams, more trite (and unfunny) S.P.E.W. nonsense from Hermione, a recurring dream of Harry's that recurs about three times too many, and drawn-out descriptions of the weather, of all things.

Aside from the massive amounts of filler, this book was poorly thought out. There are plot holes so wide you could fly a Ford Anglia through them—a magic mirror that literally serves no useful purpose, invisible magical creatures which Harry should have been able to see since Book 1, blatant tampering with the wizarding communications network which should not be easy—or even possible—for anyone to do. Any of these problems could have been fixed or removed with the help of a good editor, well-versed in the world of Harry Potter and able to point out logical flaws based on information given in previous works. But to hire an editor would mean to further delay release of a lucrative book—and besides, Ms. Rowling is a best-selling author; what does she need an editor for?

Well, apparently, she needed one for this book. I hope she'll put away pride in her creation long enough to obtain the services of such an editor before Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince goes to press. Because at this point, Ms. Rowling, you've got an uphill battle to fight. I adored this series until now, and from this point you're going to have to prove to me and a lot of other readers that the next installment will be worth purchasing.